


Dysfunctional: The Outtakes

by ApolloLoki97



Series: A Dysfunctional Senior Year [6]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Deleted Scenes from Dysfunctional, F/M, Gen, Infinity War? what's that?, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Outtakes, Post-Black Panther (2018), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Senior Year Peter Parker, Spideychelle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-14 19:06:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17514215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApolloLoki97/pseuds/ApolloLoki97
Summary: A collection of one-shots that take place during the events of the Dysfunctional series.These will not be in chronological order and i suppose can be read on their own, but will make so much more sense if you have already read the initial series.This work will always be considered COMPLETE and then I will add to it, but they are not necessary to read the other works and only contain bits that I wanted to add to the other five works, but they never quite fit. If there is a moment that you wanted to see in the other stories let me know and I'll think about writing a one-shot for it!Thank you to everyone who has supported this series!





	1. The Caged Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please check out the original 5 stories that this references!
> 
> This outtake takes place the day after the field trip. After Chapter: Stark Tower from Dysfunctional

The morning after the field trip, Peter was wandering through the Tower. 

Tony was working away in his lab and while Peter knew he could be doing something productive like working on his new web fluid formula, he was procrastinating. The field trip had gone better than he expected, however, that didn’t mean he was thrilled to go to school the following Monday. 

He thought back to what Tony had said and it made him smile as he walked into the communal kitchen. Peter wished he had a camera to take a shot of Flash’s face when Tony had told him off. It was priceless. He would have to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to grab a screenshot from the security feed. When Peter had talked to his friends the night before, they were just as excited about the prospect that Flash was going to finally leave him alone. Peter had doubts that Flash would cease his bullying altogether, but there was a glimmer hope.

Peter dug around in the fridge looking for something to eat. Usually, Sam or Scott would order way more food than they could eat and then Peter would finish it off. Peter found some leftover Chinese and heated it up. As he picked at the leftover fried rice and egg rolls, he scrolled through his phone. Most of his classmates were talking about their trip and how they couldn’t believe Tony Stark had taken the time to talk to them. 

Peter didn’t have the heart to tell them that the only reason the billionaire even showed up was to tell off Peter’s bully and gain some more positive press. People friendly as he said many times. Peter figured that wasn't going to be as easy as Tony was making it out to be. Most of the world disliked the Avengers at the moment, found them untrustworthy. Why would a tour for a bunch of genius kids change that?

Peter sighed and then closed out his social media and checked the news. Nothing too exciting. T’Challa was holding a press conference for his new initiative to spread some of Wakanda’s resources and there were new sightings of enhanced individuals in Hell’s Kitchen. Peter and the team were aware of the other vigilantes in the city, but as long as they stayed out of the way of the Avengers, the team didn’t bother them. Peter checked international news then, trying to keep himself busy. But of course, that never lasted. 

Suddenly, there was a loud sound from above. Peter looked up and listened, but it was silent again. He went back to his food. A few minutes later, he heard it again followed by a scuffle. Peter tossed his food and listened for the noise again. Another bang sounded, but it was farther away. He followed the sound, making his way down the hallway. Peter felt along the wall, feeling for vibrations and then he heard a voice. 

“Son of a bitch,” the voice said and Peter smiled. 

“You okay there, bud?” Peter called and the scuffling stopped. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m alright.” Peter looked upward as the slightly concerned voice of Clint Barton responded. “Just checking the Tower defenses.”

“All the defense controls are in the reactor room or in the main control room next to the medbay,” Peter told him.

“There are special ones that you don’t know about,” Clint said, his voice muffled by the metal and walls between them. 

“I’ve studied this tower inside and out, Clint,” Peter said. “I don’t think I would have missed that.” It was silent for a moment, but Peter could hear Clint breathing. 

“Please don’t tell Barnes,” Clint said and Peter started to laugh. “Not funny, Parker!” Clint yelled as the ventilation shaft creaked around him. Peter held onto his side as he laughed. 

“Dude, I told you this would happen! I said it yesterday, too!” Peter said. “I knew you would get stuck in their eventually!” 

“I’m not stuck…” Clint said. “I’m just currently not able to move as freely as I usually can.”

“I think that is the same thing, man,” Peter said. “Hold on.” Peter walked further down the hall to a maintenance closet. With a quick jump, he landed on the ceiling and pulled off the vent cover. Using the flashlight from his phone, Peter shone it through the system and was met with a very annoyed archer. “How did this happen?” Clint frowned at him, his chin resting on his forearms. 

“Lang. He made me this new quiver with his fancy shrinking tech,” Clint said. “However, he didn’t tell me it was so sensitive when trying to activate it.” Clint dropped his head and Peter could see the quiver on his back, but it was at least twice the size of his usual one.

“Why did he make the quiver so big? Peter asked. Clint looked at him and did his best to shrug. 

“No idea,” Clint said, “but I can’t reach to shrink it back down.”

“Okay, I get that,” Peter said, “but why were you crawling through the vents with a quiver of arrows anyways?” Clint shrugged again. 

“Boredom?” Clint offered. “Why? What were you doing today?” 

“Not getting stuck in ventilation shafts,” Peter said. “Okay, we can get you out of here, easily,” Peter said. “Can you move at all?”

“I got loose for a second and managed a couple feet, but I swear the quiver got bigger. I think I may hit a setting that is making it grow…” Clint said, worried. Peter thought for a moment before shining his light on the quiver itself. 

“Alright, I have an idea. I’ll be back,” Peter said as he ducked back out of the vent. 

“Pete, don’t leave me in here!” Clint called. “Peter!”

Peter went down his main lab, the one that held all of his spare equipment. He quickly typed in his code and went over to the cabinet that he kept all his webshooters in. Peter attached them to his wrists and then grabbed a headlamp he sometimes used. As he was leaving the lab, he ran into Tony. “Hey kid,” Tony greeted as he typed away on his phone. 

“Hey,” Peter said, awkwardly.

“You got a second? I want you to look at something,” Tony asked, looking at him. Peter hesitated, wanting to get back to Clint. Tony then noticed the gear in his hands. “What are you up to?” Tony asked. Peter glanced to his webshooters and headlamp. 

“It’s for Ned and mine’s robot,” Peter said. “Yeah, I was going to go work on some of the circuit board stuff,” Peter tried. He was an okay liar, but only when he had time to think of something decent. Tony pursed his lips before shrugging. 

“Okay then,” Tony said, “but really, can I grab you for a quick moment?” Tony asked. 

“Sure,” Peter said and followed the mechanic as he glanced over his shoulder and back toward the trapped archer. Tony took him to the repairs lab where the suit they had been working on yesterday was still on display.

“I know I promised we were going to work on suits this weekend, and we are,” Tony said, “but first, I want you to check this out.” Tony presented him with an object the size of his hand. It was in the shape of a spider, the same one that usually adorned his suit.

“What is it?” Peter asked. Tony rolled his eyes and took it back. Tony went over to the body form he used to fit Peter’s suits and stuck the spider to it. 

“Watch,” Tony said and then he double tapped the spider. Instantly, the spider dispersed and nanites flowed over the form. The spider flattened and widened and the rest of the suit solidified around it. Peter approached the suit and grinned. 

“Iron Spider,” Peter said, “convenient with the emblem.” Tony smiled back.

“I figured this was a lot easier than the large back piece we had designed earlier. Faster to put on and simple to remove,” Tony said as he tapped in a command on a datapad. The suit started to shrink, the nanites flowing back towards the center. “You’ll be able to deactivate it through Karen in the suit,” Tony said. As they both watched the nanotechnology work, Peter spotted something out of the corner of his eye, a pair of HUD glasses. An idea came to him and as Tony went to detach the emblem, Peter’s hand shot out and grabbed the glasses in a web, pulling them back to his hand. He tucked them into the pocket of his hoodie just as Tony turned back to him. 

Peter just smiled. 

“What’s with you today? You’re acting weird,” Tony said. 

“No, I’m not,” Peter defended and then gestured to the suit. “This is great,” Peter said. “Really, I love it and I agree, it’s way easier than the other thing we had. I should get back to my bot, but I’ll see you later to work on the suits,” Peter said, patting Tony awkwardly on the shoulder before making his escape.

Peter made his way back towards Clint. He slipped on the headlamp and the HUD glasses and climbed back into the vent. Clint was right where he left him and he was not happy. “Did you take the scenic route?” Clint asked. Peter clicked on the lamp and Clint groaned as the light shone in his eyes. 

“Tony wanted to show me something,” Peter said as he turned on the glasses. 

“Did you tell him about this?” Clint asked. 

“No, dude, you’re dignity is still somewhat intact,” Peter promised. “Okay, so I think it would be better if we pushed you back and out of the vent a few yards that way,” Peter said pointing over Clint’s shoulder. “If the tech  _ is _ getting bigger than we should give it a bigger space. We’ll be right above the second training room if we go that way,” Peter paused. “I think.” Clint’s eyes flashed to his. 

“Don’t those things give you a layout of the building?” Clint said gesturing to the glasses. 

“Sure, if I connected them to the mainframe, but you didn’t want anyone to know you’re stuck in here,” Peter said. “I’m just using them to perfect my targetting,” Peter said. 

“And if people are in the training room?” Clint asked. 

“Then, this is going to make for a very entertaining story,” Peter said as he positioned his feet in front of Clint. “Brace your hands on the bottoms of my feet,” Peter said and Clint placed his hands on the bottom of Peter’s sneakers. With the help of the HUD, Peter shot two webs behind Clint. Hawkeye ducked as the webs flew over his head.

Peter tested the webs and then retracted them, pulling him along, and thus pushing Clint back through the ventilation shaft. After a few feet, the quiver jerked and Clint froze. “What is it?” Peter asked. 

“It’s moving,” Clint whispered. Peter fired two more webs and swung them around the corner carefully. 

“A bit more,” Peter said as he scanned the small area around them. A few feet later and the opening came into view. “Okay, can you unclip it?” Peter asked. 

“This thing has flattened me to the bottom of this damn vent, Parker. I can barely move my arms.” Peter frowned and then took a moment to think. The last thing either of them needed was this thing to expand in the vents and cause damage to the building. Also, neither of them would ever live the incident down. It was would be just like the time Steve accidentally order six cases of Iron Man bobbleheads because he didn’t understand how internet shopping worked. 

Peter then got an idea. He pushed Clint back over the vent opening and then with a hard kick of his foot, released the covering and peered down. They were indeed in the training room and with a quick look around, he saw that it was empty. He figured somebody would be around, but it looked as if training was not on the schedule at the moment. Peter looked back at Clint. 

“Alright, here’s what we’re going to do,” Peter said as he attached a web to the roof of the training room. “I’m going to pull you out and we’re going to hope that the quiver doesn’t break the building in the process.” Clint narrowed his eyes at the teenager.

“That’s your brilliant plan?” he asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius?” 

“Hey, I’m doing my best with the situation at hand,” Peter said. “Just, trust me.”

“Famous last words,” Clint muttered. 

“I heard that,” Peter said as he swung up to the ceiling. He lowered himself down slightly then aimed his webshooter at Clint. “Give me your hand,” Peter said and Clint held out his hand as far as he could. Peter shot the web and grasped onto Clint’s wrist. Clint’s fingers wrapped around the thin webbing. “Okay, on three, I’m going to tug you free.”

“I don’t like this plan,” Clint said. 

“You’ve done crazier things,” Peter said. “One… two…”

“Peter,” Clint warned, unsure.

“Three!” Peter yelled as he pulled on the web and Clint came tumbling out of the vent followed by a loud metal groan. As Clint fell towards the ground, the equipment on his back stayed the same size. It wasn’t the quiver that was growing, it was the arrows. As soon as they had room, the quiver exploded with arrows the size of bo staffs. Peter let go of the web and the two heroes crashed to the ground. 

Peter and Clint scrambled for cover as the large arrows fell. “I thought you said Scott made you a quiver!” Peter yelled. Clint stared at the large projectiles with wide eyes.

“He may have mentioned the quiver can do something like that,” Clint said. “I guess it’s a prototype. It’s for you know, bigger foes.”

“Well, consider this prototype scrapped,” Peter said as he picked up one of the massive arrows. Once the room stopped raining harpoons, Clint and Peter collected them and shoved them into one of the many closets full of equipment. 

“What if someone finds them?” Clint asked. Peter shrugged. 

“We blame Sam,” Peter said. 

“I like that idea,” Clint said. 

“What idea?” They both turned to see Tony standing in the doorway, one of the arrows balanced in his palm.

“Shit,” Peter muttered. “In my defense, I was helping,” Peter said. Tony glanced up at the vent opening and then back at Barton. He tossed the arrow to Hawkeye. 

“We told you that you would get stuck in there,” Tony said. 

“Why do you assume that that was what this was about?” Clint asked. Tony raised a brow.

“Because I’ve been listening to you struggle around up there for the last hour,” Tony said. 

“And you didn’t think to come and help me?” Clint said, throwing his hands in the air, Peter ducked under the arrow.

“You’re the one messing with tech you shouldn’t be. Lang brought me that quiver weeks ago and we both agreed not to use it,” Tony said. 

“Then why the hell did he give it to me?” Clint asked. Tony smiled and crossed his arms, laughing as he remembered something.

“He said something about you telling a bunch of reporters that he’s the laziest Avenger or something like that?” Tony said and Clint pursed his lips.

“Nope, don’t remember anything like that,” Clint said nonchalantly. 

“I think Lang just got one over on you,” Peter said. Clint poked him with the arrow. 

“You’re supposed to be on my side, four eyes,” Clint said and Peter took off the glasses with a frown. 

“Hey, I got you out of the vent,” Peter said. Clint rolled his eyes but nodded. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Clint said. 

“I live in a zoo full of children,” Tony said, exasperated.

“Hey,” Clint said, pointing a finger at Tony, “we’re not a zoo, Stark.” Clint headed out of the room, casually avoiding the large divots in the floor. 

“Did you notice he didn’t argue the fact that I called him a child?” Tony asked Peter.

“I think he’s come to accept his childish nature,” Peter considered.

“Maybe,” Tony considered. “Though, I do have hope we have some remaining adults left in this building.” Then over the loudspeaker came Sam’s voice.

“Parker, get to the kitchen now!” Sam said, his voice excited. “I just figured out the coolest thing.” Peter looked to Tony, confused, and then turned towards the door.

"I rest my case," said Tony.

“Tony,” Peter said, inhaling, “do you smell burning popcorn?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody recommended that I do something like this back when I wrote the first story so here is my take on it. 
> 
> Some of these stories will be long, some will be short. Some could even just be a thousand words, but most likely not. I don’t have a schedule for putting these up, so they’ll show up randomly. Again, let me know if there is any moment from the Dys series that you’d like to see.


	2. Hiding Shields and Heart to Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place between chapters five and six of A Hero Questioned.

There were many things that Peter Parker was good at.

Hiding shields was one of them.

Peter had warned Steve that he was going to do it and he always kept his promises. That is how he found himself sneaking through the Tower at two in the morning on his way to the armory. It was Thanksgiving and he knew he should get some sleep. He had stayed out late with Ned and MJ after their pie escapades and it was Ned who had given him the idea.

“You need to do something fun, Peter,” Ned had said. “All this Karpov business has you stressed out. Do something, _anything,_ that isn’t sitting on this roof.” Peter knew Ned was right and while he wasn’t really in the mood to go out and party or go watch the Thanksgiving Parade from a nearby skyscraper, there was something he could do to occupy his time.

Peter left his room and quietly made his way through the penthouse. He could hear Pepper asleep in her room, but not Tony. Peter figured Stark had fallen asleep in his lab again. He made sure to be extra quiet as he crossed over the glass ceiling above the lab. The lights were on down below, but he couldn’t hear any machines running.

He figured the cameras were on, but he figured that unless he got himself into a sticky situation, F.R.I.D.A.Y. wouldn’t alert the rest of the Tower. Peter skipped the elevator and went to the stairs. Navigating the building without the AI wasn’t the easiest of tasks. Unless you were Peter Parker who knew said building inside out.

After his stint in the vents with Clint, Peter refreshed his memory of the Tower’s blueprints. He could tell you where anything was down to the square foot. He also knew how to get to every room via vent and staircase. Maybe Clint had the right idea after all. Peter slipped into the stairwell and headed two floors down.

The main armory for the team was on one of the many residential levels for the Avengers. Initially, it had been in the sublevels of the Tower, but Tony had moved it after the plane incident. Peter thought it was a good idea, though he found it to be a bit overkill when he kept finding pistols stowed in strange places such as beneath the bar and behind a flower vase. Then again, that is what you get when you live with master assassins.

Peter exited onto the floor and headed for the room at the end of the hall. He entered the code, but the door wouldn’t budge. He tried again, but the keypad flashed red. Peter swore softly to himself, glancing to his right and down the hall he knew held a couple of bedrooms. Wanda and Vision’s room was on this floor. Steve’s was right below him. Peter looked back at the door and frowned. Since when did they change the passcodes? Peter tried a few other combinations of numbers. Birthdays, mission reports, even a few names, but nothing was working. And he really didn’t want to risk calling on F.R.I.D.A.Y. to open the doors.

Peter went to try again when he remembered something. Steve’s shield wasn’t in the armory. Rogers had taken it down to the repairs lab to get it cleaned. Peter turned and headed for the stairs when he came across Sam. Peter froze as the older man wandered through the halls. Sam was barefoot and looked as if he had just come from the kitchen for a middle of the night snack. His eyes were on the floor so Peter jumped and landed silently on the ceiling.

He flattened himself against the ceiling as much as he could and prayed Sam didn’t look up. He held his breath as Wilson walked underneath him and disappeared around the corner. Peter crawled along until he got to the stairwell and then ducked inside. He landed lightly on his feet and headed down. As he descended, he started to think of possible places he could hide the Vibranium boomerang.

The lab would be too obvious. Maybe in the garage? Or the elevator shaft? Maybe it would have to be somewhere that only Peter could access. Peter jogged down the stairs quickly until he got to the right floor and carefully pushed open the door.

If the residences were weird at night, the labs were creepy. The hallways within all of SI were dark and the only light that shone was the neon EXIT signs over the entranceways. Peter thought back to the last time he was on this floor. It had been during the field trip. The exact lab that Tony had told off Flash. A month later and it still brought a smile to his face.

Flash wasn’t really leaving him alone these days, but it was less...abrasive, Peter thought. Ned thought Flash was scared of Peter after the whole fence incident, but Peter figured that the day Flash Thompson became afraid of him was the day Asgard magically reformed. Peter didn’t care if he intimidated Flash or not, he just wanted to make it through the rest of Senior Year without wanting to punch the kid in the face.

The lab was dark when Peter approached the door. He peered through the window and indeed the circular shield was on the table in the center of the room. Peter grinned and went to open the door when he saw he needed a pass. “Dammit,” Peter swore. His pass was back in his room. He could ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to open it, but that would involve waking up the mainframe on this floor. Not very discreet. Peter frowned. He’d have to go back upstairs. With a groan, Peter turned back to the stairs but was met with a bright spotlight.

Peter cringed at the sudden light and turned his head. “That spider sense of yours isn’t doing a very good job,” Tony said. _Shit._ Peter shielded his eyes from the light that Tony eventually turned off. Stark stowed his phone and looked at the teenager, his brows raised.

“You’re not much of a threat,” Peter said as he blinked away the black spots in his vision.

“Rude,” Tony said. “So, are you going to tell me why you’re strutting around the halls at this time of night?”

“I’m not _strutting,_ ” Peter said. “I was...sleepwalking.”

“Sleepwalking?” Tony said.

“Yes?” Peter attempted.

“Were you sleepwalking when you tried to access the armory as well or did you miraculously pass out on the way down here?” Tony asked. Peter casually leaned against the wall, his hands fluttering at his sides, unsure what to do with them.

“It’s a complicated condition,” Peter said.

“Is it?” Tony asked and Peter nodded. Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Pete, what’s going on? Is someone in trouble? Why do you need to get to weapons at two in the morning?” Peter was confused until he realized that Tony was actually concerned. Peter started to laugh. “Okay, now I know something is definitely wrong with you.”

“No,” Peter said, “no, everything is fine, Tony.” Peter took a deep breath and tried to keep himself together. “I’m not looking for weapons. Just one. I’m trying to get Cap’s shield.” Tony stared at him.

“Why?” Tony asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“I told you I was going to hide it,” Peter reminded him. Tony nodded as he remembered.

“You were serious about that?” Peter nodded. “Okay, well, I guess that makes more sense than what I was thinking.”

“Why? What did you think I was doing?” Peter asked.

“Honestly? I thought you were going after some big bad and were probably going to get yourself killed or horribly injured.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Peter said. “How did you even know I was down here?”

“When F.R.I.D.A.Y. woke me up and told me you were sneaking through the penthouse, I thought you were being a normal teenager and sneaking out to go partying or something. Then she told me you were heading to the armory. That’s when I changed the codes.”

“Makes sense,” Peter said. “So, Fri, she’s _always_ watching?”

“Only when you’re out of bed doing weird and suspicious things in the middle of the night,” Tony explained.

“Right…” Peter said. “Still, it’s bit invasive.”

“Says the person trying to break into the repairs lab,” Tony pointed out.

“I’m not breaking into anything. I have access to this lab. I just didn’t want anyone to know I was in here,” Peter explained.

“And what were you planning to do with the shield when you got your sticky fingers on it?” Tony asked.

“Well, I hadn’t gotten that far yet,” Peter said. “I’m a more of a ‘plan as you go’ type of...planner.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“You know Steve is going to kill you, right?” Tony asked.

“He’ll have to catch me first,” Peter said.

“Parker, you are going to be the death of me, you know that?” Tony said. “Move.” Peter stepped out of the way as Tony reached over and swiped a pass. The door clicked open. “We’re going to need to figure out a good hiding place.”

“We?” Peter said as he followed Tony into the lab. “You’re going to help me?”

“Sure, why not? Think of it as a small amount of payback for Siberia,” Tony said.

“I’m not sure hiding the shield is the same as it nearly killing you,” Peter said awkwardly.

“No,” Tony said picking up the shield and turning it over, “but it’s a start.” Tony tossed the shield to Peter who easily caught it. Peter slipped it onto his forearm and it was awkward on someone his size. “That’s sort of how I imagine pre-serum Steve looked. You know, the height and everything,” Tony said gesturing to Peter vaguely.

“I’m one hundred percent sure that I could have kicked his ass back then,” said Peter.

“Pete, you could probably do it now,” Tony said patting him on the shoulder. “Come on, I have an idea.”

* * *

“This is your bright idea?” Peter said as they stood out on the landing platform.

“Too much?” Tony asked staring up at the quinjet.

“You want to attach the shield to the jet?”

“Sure, why not? Either that or we hide it in Lang's room and hope for the best,” Tony said. Tony had brought them outside and Peter wasn’t the biggest fan of being up here without his webshooters. He took a cautious glance over the side and his stomach flipped. “What are you thinking?” Tony asked.

“I’m thinking that the jet may not be the best place,” Peter thought. “Though, maybe the roof?”

“The roof?” Tony asked. “That would be the first place Cap would look. Everyone knows it’s one of your favourite spots.”

“What about the reactor room?” Peter asked.

“Again, too predictable,” Tony said. “We need somewhere in plain sight, but also somewhere that Steve remains oblivious.”

“That could be anywhere,” Peter said with a yawn.

“I got it,” Tony said tugging on Peter’s arm leading them back inside. “The museum.”

“Why?” Peter asked as they headed for the elevator.

“Steve never goes down there and there is already a replica shield in the case,” Tony said. “We’ll switch it out for the real one. It may take him a bit to notice.” Peter thought it was a good idea and thus followed the billionaire through the Tower and down to the museum. The few times Peter had come down here, it had been just to wander or hide from the rest of the Tower when he wanted some peace and quiet. During the field trip was one of the only times he actually took time to look at all the exhibits.

Tony opened the doors and flicked on the lights. The Captain America exhibit was proudly on display near the front, the fake shield at the mannequins side. Tony entered the code and the glass slid open. “Would you care to do the honors?” Tony asked and Peter stepped into the case. He switched the shields, half hiding the real one behind the mannequin in hopes of disguising the metallic gleam the Vibranium usually gave off. Peter hopped out and Tony stored the prop shield in a nearby closet.

Peter stepped back and admired his work. “I think it looks good,” Peter said.

“Five bucks says Cap notices it missing before dinner tomorrow,” Tony said.

“I’ll take that bet,” Peter said. Satisfied with their work, Peter started to wander around. “Crazy isn’t it?” Peter said. “That all this started by you getting kidnapped in Afghanistan.” Tony, who followed behind him, nodded.

“Never thought it would become this, that’s for sure,” Tony said.

“I was only like six or seven when that happened,” Peter said, “but I remember that your face was on the news a lot. It wasn’t until I was a bit older that I found out what actually happened. I still don’t know how you did it,” Peter said looking up at the Mark I replica.

“I don’t really know how I did it, either, kid,” Tony said. “I had help, but a lot of the time spent in that cave is a bit of a blur these days.”

“You never talk about the man who helped you,” Peter pointed out. “Why?” Tony shrugged.

“Yinsen was… Yinsen,” Tony said. Peter had never seen him struggle to find words before. He never realized how much this man had meant to Tony. “I wanted to save him,” Tony continued, “but it wasn’t possible. He knew he wasn’t getting out of there alive and he never thought to include me on that plan.”

“Becuase he knew you would try to save him?”

“Because I wouldn’t have tried to save myself,” Tony said quietly. “I made Iron Man to protect both of us, to get _both_ of us out of there. But there was nothing I could do.”

“Do you blame yourself?” Peter asked.

“I do,” Tony said, “but not for his death in that cave. I blame myself because his family died in Gulmira. The Ten Rings had control of the village and they were using my weapons to instill fear and murder innocents,” Tony said. “If I had acted sooner or done something _different‒_ ” Tony stopped and ran a hand over his face. Peter reached out and gripped the older man’s shoulder.

“What happened with the weapons,” Peter said. “That was Stane. He knowingly let them get into the wrong hands.”

“It was my legacy, Pete, I should have known,” Tony said. “Taking out the cell in Gulmira was a start, but if I had acted sooner then maybe Yinsen and his family would still be here.”

“And if you had acted sooner, there would have never been an Iron Man. And all the people you've saved since...it would have been even worse,” Peter said. “Ever think about that?” Tony looked over at Peter, thinking over his words.

“You’re saying everything happens for a reason?” Tony asked. Peter smiled slightly.

“I like to think it does,” Peter said. Tony placed his hands over Peter’s and nodded.

“You know he said something to me when we were working on the suit,” Tony said. “He said, ‘so you're a man who has everything, and nothing’, and it sort of jolted me, you know? Because it was true. I lived this particular lifestyle and didn’t care about anything. Sure, I had Rhodey and Pepper and Happy and all the toys and gadgets I could think of. Yet, so much was missing. This,” Tony said gesturing around him, “this was missing.”

“A museum?”

“A purpose,” Tony corrected. “You once told me that when you can do the things you can and you don’t and then the bad things happen…”

“They happen because of you,” Peter finished, remembering. Tony nodded.

“Exactly,” Tony said. “This right here,” Tony said, gesturing to the Mark I, “it was just supposed to be an exit strategy. Nothing more than a one-time weapon. But then they killed him. They killed Yinsen and he was willing to die, he _wanted_ to die so he could see the family that they had taken from him. I should have died there, but I didn’t. So maybe you are right, maybe everything does happen for a reason.”

"I'm always right," Peter said. “You know one of the main reasons I became Spider-Man was because of you."

“How so?” Tony asked.

“I mean, yeah, I got freaky powers, but it was Iron Man who made me realize I wanted to be a hero. Even when I was like eight, I wanted to be like you.”

“You’re better,” Tony said softly. “You’re too good of a kid, you know that? Hell, you tried to save the life of a murderer and you did it because it’s just who you are. I wouldn’t even think about doing that. That’s the difference between you and me, Peter. You’re just naturally an amazing person.”

“Thanks,” Peter said sheepishly. “And just for the record, I don’t think your legacy is as tarnished as you think.”

“I don’t know about that,” Tony said.

“You’ve built yourself a new one and I think Yinsen is at peace knowing you that you now have _something_.” Tony was quiet for a moment before he pulled Peter into a hug.

“Thank you,” Tony said. Peter hugged him back.

“I got your back,” Peter said.

“I know,” Tony said pulling away. “And I’ll have yours when Steve tries to kill you for messing with his stuff.”

“See that is what family is all about, Tony,” Peter said. Tony chuckled.

“Indeed it is, kid,” Tony said and then glanced at his watch, “Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. I just have been in a block and have realized I don't have as many outtake ideas as I first thought. SO. Tell me what you want to see that was missing from Dysfunctional. Cause I am at a bit of a loss.
> 
> I don't even really like this one all that much.


	3. Telling Ned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MJ and Peter tell Ned about their new relationship. 
> 
> Takes place right after the final chapter of Dysfunctional: A Strange Encounter

When Peter woke up around noon on January the first, everything just felt  _ right.  _

He thought back to the hours before and how he and MJ had sat on the roof watching the fireworks. They rang in the new year together, hand in hand. Peter had imagined what it would be like to kiss her and tell her how he felt for years, but nothing compared to how it felt when it actually happened. MJ had called him special, but she had no idea just how special she was. 

As soon as he kissed her when the clock struck midnight, his senses had gone into overdrive, but in a good way. It was as if a part of his had woken up and while he knew that was cheesy, it was the best way he could describe it. Michelle Jones had been that missing piece and after the couple of months he had, it felt great to finally feel whole.

While the party below continued, MJ and Peter spent the first hour of 2019 curled up on one of the many deck chairs talking. Just talking. Well, with the occasional kissing break. They talked about everything from school to their families and then, Ned. How were they going to tell Ned? They weren’t worried that he was going to be upset about it. Hell, he had been the one pushing Peter to ask her out. He would be happy for them, but Peter feared that his best friend would feel left out since Peter and MJ were now a couple. 

It was still on his mind as he sat up in bed and had F.R.I.D.A.Y. bring the sun into his room. He squinted as the light flooded his bedroom, but it was time to get up. As soon as MJ headed home, Peter had crashed. He didn’t talk to anyone and avoided the curious glances from his soon-to-be parents as he nearly skipped to his room and passed out.

Now, he climbed out of bed and headed for a much-needed shower. As the water crashed over him, his thoughts rolled back to the less positive moments of the party. A superhero plague. Someone was trying to kill all the enhanced individuals in the world and it was up to the team to stop them.

As usual.

It wasn’t as if Peter hated having to solve the world’s problems, but this was a new level of insane when it came to the villains he had faced.  However, he had made a promise the night before to himself. He would do this with his family and he would manage everything else along with it. Especially a new relationship. Peter scrubbed at his hair and tried to get all the negativity from his brain. Today would be a good day, he decided. Nothing would make it anything less than perfect. Nothing. 

* * *

 

Peter joined the rest of the team in the communal lounge once he had dressed and a took a few moments to collect himself. Everyone seemed to be half awake. Natasha was sipping on a strange colored drink with a sour look on her face. Bucky was next to her trying not to laugh. “What’s up with them?” Peter asked Sam as he leaned against the back of the couch. Sam turned to look at the couple and then grinned.

“Stark made Natasha a hangover cure. She’s not too thrilled about it and Barnes, well he can’t get drunk, so…” Sam smiled wider. 

“Ah,” Peter said, understanding. Nat downed the glass, cringing as the liquid hit the back of her throat. Bucky rubbed her back supportively as she glared at him over her cup. 

“So, how was your night, hot shot?” Sam asked, giving him a knowing look. 

“Why do you always ask when you know the answer?” Peter asked. 

“Because it’s fun,” Sam said with a shrug, Peter rolled his eyes, but joined him on the couch unable to keep the smile off his face. “So, you got the girl?” Sam said and everyone in the room looked over, intrigued. 

“I got the girl,” Peter said with a grin. 

“What girl?” Natasha said. “Michelle?” Peter nodded. 

“Michelle? What?” Tony said as he and Pepper entered the room. Suddenly, Peter had a full audience. The embarrassment was slowly rising on his cheeks. “Did our surprise actually turn out to be something?”

“Tony, leave him alone,” Pepper said and then sat on the arm of the couch. “But really? Did it work?” 

“Yes,” Peter said, “it worked.” His team looked at him expectantly. “You guys are insufferable.” And so Peter told them the story of his New Year’s Eve. He left out the more personal moments, but overall they got the gist. Peter couldn’t stop smiling as he told them that he had been into her since Sophomore year, which was futile as they already knew.

“Well, I’m happy for you, Peter,” Cap said. “Michelle seems like a nice girl.” 

“She scares me,” Clint admitted. “I ran into her one day when she was here and just the way she looks at you...” Clint shivered. “It’s like she can see into your soul.” Peter slowly shook his head at the archer. “What?”

“Maybe don’t tell her that,” Peter said.

“Gotcha,” Clint said. 

“Have you told Ned?” Tony asked and Peter shook his head. 

“I haven’t even talked to her today,” Peter said. “We’re going to tell him.” 

“Well, the way I see it,” Maria said as she propped her feet up in Steve’s lap, “the more women in this Tower, the better.”

“I second that,” Wanda said, raising her coffee mug. Vision looked down at her in confusion. 

“And should you need relationship advice,” Tony began. 

“You will go to literally  _ anybody else, _ ” Bruce interjected. 

“Rude,” Tony said and Bruce winked at Peter who wanted to escape this conversation. 

“I am literally the only married one here,” Clint said. “If anyone is giving relationship advice, it’s me.”

“How about I just figure it out on my own?” Peter said.

“Suit yourself, kid,” Clint said. The conversation quickly turned back to the superhero plague and Peter slipped away. He would deal with that later, maybe tomorrow. Peter headed back through the Tower and that’s when Tony caught up with him. 

“Hey,” Tony said. 

“Hi,” Peter said awkwardly. 

“Walk with me,” Tony said. “So, I know that this girl is important to you and you’ve liked her for a while. I think maybe I should be the one‒” 

“Let me stop you right there,” Peter said, pulling the older man to a stop. “If you are about to give me the sex talk then I can safely assure you that my aunt already checked that box years ago.” Tony visibly relaxed.

“Oh, thank god,” Tony said. “Look, I am all for being your dad, kid, but there are some things…” Tony shivered. Peter patted his back supportively. 

“I got you,” Peter said. They continued walking through the halls, not really going anywhere. Just enjoying each other’s company. “Speaking of,” Peter said, “when are we going to tell everyone about the adoption?” Tony shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow. I’m trying to bask in the happiness without everyone sticking their noses in it.” 

“You think they’re going to judge you?” Peter asked, suddenly worried. 

“No, no, no,” Tony said. “That’s not it at all. But they’re going to want to know how long we’ve planned this; when it’s happening; if there will be a party or a ceremony. We just haven't hammered out all the details.” Peter nodded.

“I told MJ,” Peter said. 

“That’s fine,” Tony said. 

“I just figured if we were going to be together and it becomes public that I’m joining the Stark family, she should have some warning. That attention will be put on her too, you know?” Peter said. That was definitely something he was worried about. MJ had tough skin, but Peter had seen how ruthless the paparazzi could be with Tony and he didn’t know how she’d react. 

“That is something that two of you will have to talk about,” Tony said. “Being in the spotlight is never easy, especially when it’s by proxy.” Peter knew Tony was talking about Howard. Tony hadn’t asked to be the son of a major tech mogul, but he dealt with it. Not always in the most healthy ways, but Peter thought he turned out great.

“I just really need this to work out,” Peter said. “I haven’t wanted to think about it, but this new threat is going to make things complicated.” 

“Peter, you can’t think like that,” Tony said. “If we focused on the prospect that everything is going to go to shit all the time, we wouldn’t have time for the more joyous moments. Take this time with Michelle, we’ll worry about the toxic gas when we have to.” 

“We have to now,” Peter said. 

“I know,” Tony sighed. “I’m going to see Strange later to hash some things out.” Peter raised his brows at that. “He said he’d help, I’m taking him up on that offer.”

“You two will be friends...eventually,” Peter decided. 

“Don’t hold your breath, kid,” Tony said and Peter cringed. “Bad choice of words.” Peter nodded. “You still feeling alright? No random side effects popping up?”

“Tony, I’m fine,” Peter assured him. “Strange is very good at his job.” 

“He better be,” Tony muttered. Peter smiled slightly and then his phone rang. It was MJ. Peter looked at Tony and Tony waved him off. “Go talk to your girlfriend.”

“I don’t think we’ve defined anything yet,” Peter said. 

“So, go define it,” Tony said, pushing Peter down the hallway. Peter ducked into an empty office and accepted the call. 

“Didn’t think you were going to pick up,” MJ said. 

“Why wouldn’t I pick up?” Peter said, collapsing in a desk chair. 

“I don’t know,” MJ said and Peter imagined her shrugging.

“This isn’t going to be weird now, is it?” Peter said as he got up and started pacing.

“Knowing us, we will try to make it weird,” MJ said, “but we’re smarter than that. Nothing between us has really changed, Parker.”

“Nothing?” Peter asked. 

“Well, maybe some things,” MJ conceded. “Did you tell your parents?” 

“I did,” Peter said, picking up a stapler and messing with it. “I told everyone, actually. Sorry.” MJ snorted. 

“It’s cool, I mean, it’s kind of hard to have secrets when you live with a bunch of superheroes,” MJ said. 

“Do you want to keep it a secret?” Peter asked, putting down the stapler.

“No,” MJ said. “Why? Do  _ you  _ want to keep it a secret?” 

“Michelle,” Peter said, “I have been wanting to be with you since we were fifteen. I am ready to shout it from the top of the Tower.” 

“Don’t do that,” MJ said. 

“No? Because I can go right now. I could even use Redwing to make the announcement. I’m actually heading to the elevator right now,” Peter said and Michelle laughed on the other line. Peter couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. He loved to make her laugh. And today it sounded even sweeter.

“Peter Parker, you are something else,” MJ said. 

“In a good way?” 

“In the best way,” she said. They stayed on the phone for a while. They talked about their night, the party, and then they brought up Ned. 

“We should tell him in person,” Peter said. 

“Agreed, though I’m not really worried about his reaction. I mean he’s been trying to make me make the first move for years now.”

“What?" Peter said and then froze. With all the pacing he had been doing as he spoke to her, he had ended up on the ceiling. He looked around in confusion for a moment. He really had to stop doing this. “So, it wasn’t just me he was yelling at…”

“Definitely not,” MJ said.

“Ned Leeds, you sneaky bastard,” Peter said and then tugged on his feet. He fell from the roof and landed in a crouch. 

“What are you doing?” MJ asked, hearing the faint thump. 

“Oh, I was on the ceiling,” Peter said nonchalantly. 

“Of course you were,” MJ said, “You do realize that floors are still a thing for most people.”

“Well, I am not most people, Miss Jones,” Peter pointed out. “I don’t even realize I’m doing weird things half the time. Tony says it’s instinct.”

“Spider instinct?”

“Yeah,” Peter nodded. “Like how I just react to things and I have this weird aversion to peppermint.”

“Peppermint?” MJ asked. “Why?”

“Apparently spiders hate the stuff and it carried over. There are a lot of things we haven’t tested yet.” 

“That’s just creepy, but I accept it. I accept you and your creepiness,” MJ said. 

“Wow, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me,” Peter said. “You are a great girlfriend.” MJ was silent on the other line and Peter realized his mistake. “I mean, that is if you want to be my girlfriend. We don’t have to use labels or anything. You know me, I don’t care for titles. Except for my superhero name and you know, my Avenger title. I was actually thinking of maybe cutting back on the whole ‘look at me, I’m an Avenger’ thing, you know?”

“Are you done?” MJ asked. 

“Yes, yeah.”

“Great,” MJ said. “Now quit your babbling, loser, or you're not going to stop. And yeah, I would like to be your girlfriend.” 

“Oh, okay, yeah, that’s great.” Peter leaned against the wall, letting out a breath. 

“You overthink things too much,” MJ said. 

“I can’t help it,” Peter admitted. “You should see me when I’m in the field. I think half the time the team puts me on mute.”

“That’s a bit sad,” MJ said.

“That’s my family,” Peter said. “So, how about we meet up and then get Ned out of his apartment?”

“Sounds good, how about Corona Park? Under the Unisphere?” MJ offered. “Let’s say an hour?”

“I will be there,” Peter promised.

“See you then,” MJ said.

“See you.” Peter ended the call and let his head fall back as he smiled. How did he get so lucky? Peter then noticed the footprints on the ceiling and casually slipped from the room.

* * *

Peter swung all the way to Queens.

He had briefly told Tony where he was going and then he was off in his suit with a backpack across his shoulders. As soon as he got to Forest Hills, Peter ducked into an alley and pulled on his street clothes before heading for Corona Park.

Peter had avoided this area for many years after the Stark Expo incident, but now he quite liked walking through the park. He looked West to where the Zoo was and tried not to think of the other night. All of the toxin stuff and Ross being on their case could wait.

Peter was early so he sat at the base of the frozen fountain and watched the crowd. His hearing picked up on everything around him. He could hear the frozen gears of the fountain behind him groaning from the temperature, the laughing kids as they chased each other around the park, and the way the bare branches swayed in the breeze. Winter wasn’t ideal, but there was something about New York in the colder months that Peter did like. His spider physiology didn’t care for it all and that was why he still wore his suit underneath his street clothes. Karen rose the temperature in the suit and Peter sighed as he warmed up.

Suddenly, there was a paper cup floating in front of his face. Peter looked up to see MJ all bundled up in her winter gear, three cups of steaming hot chocolate in her hands. “Figured you may want this,” MJ said. Peter took the cup and then stood, brushing the dirt from his jeans. She looked so beautiful in the winter afternoon. MJ's hair whipped around her face and her cheeks were slightly frostbitten. 

“Thanks,” Peter said, snapping out of his thoughts and taking a sip, relishing in the warm drink. “I  needed that.” MJ smiled and put Ned’s down. 

“Leeds should be here soon,” MJ said. 

“How did he seem when you called him?” Peter asked MJ shrugged and took a sip of her own drink. 

“Tired. He just got back from his grandmother’s this morning,” MJ said. 

“Right, I forgot he was in Connecticut,” Peter said. “Probably should have given him another day.”

“Nah,” said MJ, “he was itching to get out. Besides, I promised him free hot chocolate.” MJ was looking at him, nearly studying him and Peter wondered if this is what Clint had been talking about. Then, she frowned and reached up and plucked something out of his hair. It was a fortune from a fortune cookie. MJ raised her brows at him.

"Oh," Peter said. 

"Chinese for breakfast?"

“No, I swung here,” Peter explained. “I was getting dressed in an alley and sort of fell over when I was trying to get my shoes on.” He had crashed into the side of a dumpster. Not his finest moment. 

“Aren’t you supposed to have super balance or whatever?” MJ asked. 

“I have my bad days,” Peter defended. MJ rolled her eyes and unrolled the fortune. 

“‘People are naturally attracted to you’,” MJ read. Peter snorted.

“‘People’,” Peter said with air quotes. “Not sure how plural that statement is.”

“Hey, I think they may be onto something,” MJ said with a half shrug and then looked at him. “Though, I think you’re right. I don't know about the whole plural thing.” MJ leaned in closer to him. 

“I’m definitely okay with that,” Peter said as he leaned in and kissed her. 

“Me too,” MJ said against his lips and kissed him back.

“Holy shit!” MJ jumped, dropping her drink. Peter’s hand flashed out and caught it quickly.

“Nice save,” MJ said and then turned to see Ned standing behind them, his mouth open wide. “Hey,” MJ said awkwardly. 

“Holy shit,” Ned said again. 

“Use your words, man,” Peter said. Ned just shook his head as he slowly grinned. “I think we broke him.” MJ picked up Ned’s drink and waved it under his nose. At the smell of the decadent treat, Ned snapped back to reality. He ignored the drink and then walked forward and hugged his friends. 

“You guys!” Ned said. “It’s about damn time!” Peter and MJ caught each other’s eyes over his shoulders and they both smiled.

* * *

After the initial shock was over, Ned wouldn’t shut up.

“I like to think Ned had a major part in this union,” Ned said as he sat between them on a bench. MJ had finished her hot chocolate and Peter had given his to her. She held it protectively to her chest as she listened to Ned. “You know? I mean, Ned has been pushing for this for  _ years _ .” 

“I think Tony and Pepper may have you beat,” Peter said. “They were the ones who invited MJ to the party.” Ned frowned at his best friend. 

“Nope,” Ned decided, “Iron Man does not get credit on this one. This was all Ned.” 

“Okay, it can be  _ ‘all Ned’  _ if you stop talking in the third person,” MJ said. 

“Deal,” Ned said.  “I’m really happy for you guys, but if you make me the third wheel I will do everything in my power to make your lives miserable.” 

“We would never do that, man,” Peter said and MJ nodded. 

“We get bored too easily without your incessant babbling,” MJ said. Ned placed a hand over his heart.

“Thank you, Michelle,” Ned said and MJ snorted, drinking her hot chocolate. “So, your New Year’s turned out pretty great then?”

“He hasn’t even told you the half of it,” MJ said gesturing to Peter. Ned looked at his friend and Peter grinned and then took out his phone and showed Ned a photo of some very important documents. Ned looked at the phone for a few moments, reading through it before he nearly combusted. 

_ “You’re getting adopted by Tony Stark?” _ Ned squealed and Peter quickly looked around to make sure nobody was listening. 

“Yeah, they asked me last night,” Peter said, “but we haven’t told anyone yet. Just you and MJ know and of course Tony and Pepper.” 

“Dude, this is major!” Ned said and hugged his friend again. 

“I know!” Peter said. “I don’t even know how to process it.” 

“You’re going to be the heir of SI,” MJ said. “Are you ready for that?”

“I’m going to have to be,” Peter said. “It’s going to be a lot. Not to mention all our superhero stuff, but I think I can do it.” 

“I’m happy for you,” Ned said. “Both of you,” Ned said looking at MJ. “Okay, wait does this mean you’re going to be a billionaire?” 

“Eventually?” Peter said. Tony had told Peter that one day everything would be his. Including every trust they had. It was a lot to process and Peter was never one to be responsible with money so he hoped they had good accountants.

“Please buy whatever company Flash ends up working for and become his boss,” MJ said. 

“I think that is an excellent idea,” Peter said. For the next half hour, the three friends talked about the near future. Ned also wanted to know all the details from the party as well as more about the adoption. Peter didn’t know much about the whole process. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since Pepper and Tony had asked him. He hadn’t had time to really look into it, let alone think about the reality of it all. He was going to be a Stark. How the hell did that happen? Ned and MJ then wondered about how everything was going at the Tower.

“Fine, I guess,” Peter said. “Not much going on.” 

“A news report said there was some type of operation going on in Queens. Something with the CIA?” Ned asked. Peter shrugged.

“Don’t know anything about that,” Peter said and he hated himself for lying. But he knew there was no other way. This whole situation was too sensitive and telling anyone, even his best friends could jeopardize it. “We’re not on the best terms with the CIA,” Peter said. 

“Can’t imagine why,” MJ deadpanned.

“Okay, but what about that runaway truck? You were on the news swinging through Midtown,” Ned said. 

“Oh, right, yeah just a robbery gone wrong. NYPD took care of it,” Peter said, brushing it off. 

“So a bunch of boring stuff then?” MJ asked and Peter nodded. 

“Yup,” said Peter. 

“Don’t sound so disappointed, Peter,” MJ said. “Not having horrible things happen is a good thing.”

“I know,” Peter said. “It’s just...everyone is getting restless. And when the Avengers get restless, they do things that tend to stress out Tony and then it becomes a whole mess, you know?”

“There you go again,” Ned said, “complaining about your superhero family.” Ned shook his head. Peter laughed, bumping his shoulder. 

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” All three of them turned around to see Flash walking towards them. He was dressed all in designer winter gear and Peter could see his family a few yards behind him. “Out for a New Year’s Day walk, losers?” Flash asked.  MJ was sending daggers his way and Ned looked like he wanted to shove Flash’s face into the frozen fountain.

“Flash,” Peter greeted half-heartedly.

“Sup, Parker,” Flash said. “How were your holidays? Must not have been fun since you’re, you know,  _ alone.”  _ Peter’s fists tightened and he suddenly had a lovely image of Strange using his Sling Ring and sending Flash very far away.

“They were great,” Peter said. “Spent them with my boss.” 

“Liar,” Flash spat and Peter just shrugged. It was exhausting trying to prove anything to Flash these days. “Bet you’re going to say you were at the big party last night at the Tower too, huh?” Peter just splayed his hands and grimaced.

“The shrimp were good,” MJ commented and Flash looked to her in surprise. There was one thing that everyone knew about Michelle Jones. She didn’t lie. Flash composed himself quickly. 

“Whatever, just another press opportunity,” Flash said, more to convince himself it seemed. Peter went to retort when sirens reached them. They were loud and moving fast towards Williamsburg. Everything in him was telling him to put on his mask, but a part of him really wanted to stay. Peter glanced back to his friends and then back toward the road. MJ tapped him on the shoulder and he looked back to her. She was holding his backpack out to him, a small smile on her face. He raised his brows and she nodded to him.

“I’ll call you,” MJ said and Peter smiled and got up. 

“See you guys later,” Peter said. “Flash,” Peter said in goodbye. Ned and Peter bumped fists and then Peter leaned down and kissed MJ on the cheek. “Thank you,” Peter whispered in her ear. MJ squeezed his hand before he took off down the road. Flash was looking at MJ in even more surprise now. 

“Shut your mouth, Thompson,” MJ said, “or you’ll catch flies.”

“When did that happen?” Flash asked. 

“None of your business,” MJ said and Ned nodded in agreement. 

“Whatever,” said Flash. “Where is Parker going?”

“Uh…” Ned said, “book club?”

* * *

Peter landed on a rooftop back in Lower Manhattan and nearly retched.

The crisis turned out to be a runaway fishing truck and Peter had landed right in the crossfire. “Tony is going to kill me,” Peter said picking off a stray fin from his shoulder. The smell was not getting better. The number of times Peter had arrived home with a damaged or dirty suit was enough for Tony to consider making Peter wear the Iron Spider all the time so they could just hose him off before he entered the Tower. “Karen, I’m not allergic to seafood, right? I think I’ve inhaled half an ocean.”

_ “No such allergy on file, Peter,”  _ Karen said. 

“Good to know,” Peter said as he picked off a piece of raw tuna from his web shooter, nearly gagging.

“That looks unpleasant,” A voice came from below. Peter looked over the edge to see a very amused Sorcerer Supreme looking up at him. Stephen had a bag in his hand and Peter could barely smell the warm sandwiches within over the sickening seafood smell.

“I’m going to get you a bell,” Peter said jumping to street level, catching himself on a web on the way down. “A small little bell that you can wear so we know when you decide to pop up everywhere.” Strange took a step back from him. 

“Not sure that would help,” Stephen said and then looked Peter over. “Did you go swimming?”

“Very funny,” Peter said shaking out his leg trying to get rid of any remaining traces of fish. “I just saved three lives for your information.” Strange nodded.

“Good for you,” Strange said. “I would take a shower before you try to save any more.” Peter crossed his arms.

“Aren’t you supposed to be meeting Tony?” Strange shrugged. 

“He can wait,” Stephen said with a sly grin. Strange then gestured to his suit. "Already back to work? Couldn’t take the day off?” 

“I was hanging out with MJ and Ned, but then…” Peter shrugged.  “Hey, could you help a spider out?” Peter asked. Strange thought for a moment before slipping on his ring. 

“Sorry, Parker, Wong is waiting for his lunch,” Strange said throwing open a portal into the Sanctum and stepping through. 

“Stephen!” Peter yelled, but Strange just waved and shut the portal behind him. “So much for friendship,” Peter muttered. 

_ “Incoming call from Natasha Romanoff,”  _ Karen said. 

“Put her on,” Peter sighed. “Hey, Nat.”

“Hey lover boy,” Natasha said. “Are you coming home for dinner or are you going to be out with Michelle?” 

“No, I’ll be home,” Peter said heading back to the roof. “What are we having?”

“Fish,” Nat said. Peter stopped and swallowed, tasting the entire Atlantic ocean.

“Oh, wonderful.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new fic I posted last week: Something Wicked is on hold. I am going to rework it a bit and then post it when it's done! 
> 
> I am planning to write more Spideychelle moments for this so get excited. I'm also going to add a chapter with Strange and Tony banter! Yay! 
> 
> Peter picking up random things while talking on the phone is so relatable. 
> 
> Let me know what else you want to see!


End file.
